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Folks, I couldnt have thought up a more blunt title than that. I am currenty taking History 17a which is “US history from its colonial beginning through the Civil War and Reconstruction”.

I need HELP! Is anyone a History major or knowledgeable enough to help me get through this class? I am reading, studying, praying and yet I don’t think I am going to make it through this class! My brain must have some mental block for history – it’s the only subject I ever had to take in summer school in high school. I think all the terms are confusing me… the puritans, rebels, French and British, the confederates, the Indians, monarchies, bourgeoisie… ahh they all blend together when it comes time to take a quiz. Ask me to answer a question about Benjamin Franklin or Anne Hutchinson and I am golden but throw all these people, places and events on a test and I am done for! I think my saving grace might come in a critical book review, I am (arguably) good at writing!

Seriously though, if there are any local tutors or friends willing to help me with this class I will be eternally grateful to you and will consider you the only reason I graduate – seriously, I am that doomed!

Man, I thought I was retarded in math, well I am currently taking math AND this history class and I want to make out with my math book right now – I heart Algebra! If you can’t offer your brain, PLEASE throw up some prayers for me!

~Em

The man took my camera on his over night business trip (trust me the term “business trip” is way glamorizing his job) so of course I come up with a million things I want to blog about… with pictures of course. I am going to have to tell a funny story about my mom & daughter instead.

Jen and I were out Junkin one day in this totally cute antique shop (do you remember this Jen?) and my mom called my cell phone (It was 2002 so it was probably a 2 pound, 8 inch tall, bright red Nokia – I am trying to give you a visual since you have nothing to look at on this post) My mom, was keeping Tatum for a weekend and sounded extremely tired and frazzled. She says “Em, I can’t get Tatum to sleep! I was up all night with her… she is like wide awake! I don’t know if she is sick or just not used to sleeping here but she wont go to sleep” I said, “well do you want me to come get her? If you think she is sick, you shouldn’t keep her.” Mom says, “She just seems over  tired! I think she might have allergies so I gave her Claritin for kids.” I say “and that didn’t do anything?”

and here is the funny part… keep in mind my mom has birthed and successfully raised 3 kids of her own…

Mom says, “no, it didn’t do anything so four hours later I gave her Tylenol and then four hours later I tried Triaminic. I don’t know why she wont sleep, at least she’s happy!” I said “mom……. she’s high”

I laughed, my mom probably cried but after Tatum “came down” she was fine and fast asleep. Please don’t call CPS, my mom was just trying to get some shut eye and she totally followed the directions on the boxes… ahhh that was a fun memory. Oh and mom if you are reading this, I love you.

~Em

So, I took this personality test for the gazillionth time. I have never wrote down what I end up being (and it’s always different) but this time I looked more into it. I am ISTP or in other words, introverted, sensing, thinking, perceiving. But I am confused as to the order because I scored the highest in thinking and the lowest in introverted. Does anyone know why they put it in the order they do? If it were in level order I would be TSPI… whatever…

What does this hooey mean anyway? I do like that this personality is considered the “crafter”… whoo hoo… and I am sure Dr. Keirsey means hot glue, paint and glitter crafting, right? The Dr. says crafters are “good with tools, love action, and know instinctively that your activities are more enjoyable, and more effective, if done impulsively, spontaneously, subject to no schedules or standards but your own. In a sense, Crafters do not work with their tools, but play with them when the urge strikes them.”  Hmmm… does this go with my motto?

 

It also says crafters don’t like chit chat… our conversation is sparse and brief… and this IS me most of the time. (Written words are a different story…obviously) and I can get talkin when the mood strikes. Most of the time though it seems that I am not listening, but I am… I just don’t feel the need to justify what you were saying with “wow, that is totally amazing!” I feel an “uh huh” is just fine.

“ISTPs are masters of the one-liner, often showing flashes of humor in the most tense situations”… Hey I get uncomfortable in serious situations okay… maybe that’s why “this can result in their being seen as thick-skinned or tasteless.” I get embarrassed in social situations and try to be funny, but it usually backfires… and since there is no erase button in real life… I can’t backspace and delete things that actually make it out of my mouth. This is why I have the disclaimer in my “about me” section that I can sometimes be offensive. Hey, it’s a personality flaw!

Love me or hate me… that’s me… an ISTP. What are you? Take the test here.

Oh, and Kathrine Hepburn was “crafty” so is 10% of the population.

~Em

 

 

So yesterday was Positively Tuesday, is this Negatively Wednesday?

Five things that are bugging me today

1. To the dude that has called my cell phone near daily for a week “NO! This is not Juan Jose’s Lunch-Wagon!” And why are you calling for a lunch-wagon at 5:43am anyway?

2. I read a gazillion blogs a day and it really bugs me when people fight over being the first to leave a comment. Especially the ones that go something like this “ha ha! FIRST!!!!! Now I am going to go read this post”. It Really Really  bothers me that some housewife is getting up at the crack of Maynard to be the first to leave a comment on someones blog… AND then telling everyone that they were not up that early to read the person’s blog but merely to beat everyone else to the comment box. If I ever get more than 2.6 readers… please don’t fight over who is first to leave a comment – you’ll be banned from my blog for life+ 26 days.

3.  My dog chose 4:03am to obnoxiously chew the life out of her rawhide…on the metal threshold of my backdoor which is directly out my bedroom window. The sound was a combination of industrial aluminum banging and slobbery grunting.

4. I watched The Mist…. let me ruin it for you in the end the dad thinks the world is ending and mercy kills his son to avoid him having to be eaten by aliens from another dimension and then without a bullet to end his own life tries to lure the aliens to eat him and instead gets rescued by the army…. I am boycotting Stephen King from now on.

5. This wind is the bane of my existance… I am itchy, scratchy, sneezy, sleepy and grumpy and all the other drawrfs!

I am a bad bad mother!

Lock me up!

Call the Canine Police!

A week ago Aaron and I planted about 32 peat pots containing over 100 pumpkin seedlings in the backyard. I immediately put down my dog safe  snail bait and every day was shocked to find that my little seedlings were still getting eaten! Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart and got the Cory’s nasty “black death” snail bait and said to myself “I’ll just put a little ring around each plant. The dogs wont get into it, it smells horrible and I have used it before with no problems…” Well about 4 hours later we had a problem. Our new dog Jersey either got the snail bait on her paw and licked it off or just ate a chunk of it. Around 10pm we went out to say goodnight to the dogs (a nightly ritual) and Jersey was panting like crazy like we were in the Sahara Desert. Then we noticed she was twitching and her leg kept giving out. I immediately knew what happened to her and started to cry “It’s my fault! It’s the snail bait!” As I was calling the emergency vet in Stockton I Googled “dog ate snail bait” and found that they go into seizures and overheat and basically fry their brain. The website affectionately called it “shake and bake” – nice. If left untreated she would die. Since I now knew it was the heat that would get her, I cranked up the AC in the car and we rushed her to Stockton (20 minute drive). We were all shivering when we got their but the Dr’s said her temp was already 108! They packed ice on her and wet towels to cool her off and hooked her up to an IV.  She spent the night and will be ok but still is having tremors this morning and has to spend the day at her regular vet.

After we got back last night (around midnight) Aaron and I went out to scrape up all the snail bait and flush the beds we also pulled about 200 slugs from the area. According to the Internet (now proved fallible) slugs don’t like pumpkin vines… WRONG! This morning I got up and armed with a salt shaker annihilated more slugs… I want to blame those slimy demons for this horrific event but deep down I know it was my fault.

Please let my HUGE $800.00 mistake be a lesson to everyone!

By the way – Snail bait is “flavored” with molasses and tastes GREAT to dogs (and slugs)

 

I slept good  Friday night… possibly because of this

Hot & Spicy Mary

1 & a half shots of vodka

Fill the rest of the glass with Spicy V8

a dash of Tapatio

a dash of celery salt

a squeeze of lime juice

a dash of Worcestershire sauce

salt/pepper to taste

garnish with celery and a lime wedge… serve as is or on the rocks

and have a GOOD… NIGHT

(this is a spicy  drink so use regular V8 if you don’t like the hotness)

~Em

 

 

 

You saw it on SNL, you’ve heard the expression, you’ve seen the t-shirts… and if you have played Rock Band  you know that you can indeed  have too much cowbell!

No I am not plugging my favorite drink in this picture, I am- in fact- icing a cowbell/tambourine injury from playing Rock Band for 12 hours straight on Tuesday night. You see, if you are the vocalist in the game you also have the chance to play percussion when there is a drum or guitar solo… You tap your microphone on your hand with the beat and depending on the song you are either clapping, playing the tambourine or yes… rocking out on the cowbell. And yes… Don’t Fear the Reaper  by Blue Oyster Cult IS one of the songs in the game! Was it worth the pain you ask? Yes, Aaron and I did complete the World Tour – but today I actually read the instructions and found out that the percussion parts are OPTIONAL! sheesh!

~Em

Well my jewelry party was booming last night… not. Zero people showed up I was so embarrassed. Here is a slide-show of Amy’s things – If you see something you like…. email me to buy it!

 

 

~Em

Not really. In fact, I’m not really too cool for anything – I’m kinda lukewarm-ish.

Yes, today is the day, another semester of junior college underway. (ha ha that rhymed) I kinda freaked out this morning when I read the syllabus of one of my classes… “expect to spend 10 hours a week on classwork in order to get a passing grade” – gulp!

So does that mean since I have three classes that I should expect to spend 30 hours a week on school?? Do I even have 30 hours a week to give?

Wish me luck folks, I am going to need it. I’ll leave you today with glimpse of my new bedroom… it caused me to have inflammation of the lungs… but… I love it – details & more pictures another time 🙂

~ Em

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